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| I started writing Xanga entries in the summer of 2002. I wish there was a way that I could just hint print and retrieve it all. :(
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| Once upon a time, a long, long time ago, I had friends that I could call spontaneously and do things with. It was during this period of my life called "college." Most of those friends are still my closest friends, even though they have much closer friendships with other people now.
The way I see it, I never lost my desire to have spontaneous "let's go out and do something" friends. And, having lived with many roommates my senior year, I just got used to the fact that there was always something to do and someone to do it with.
There are things in contest with this desire I have for friends who can do spontaneous things. Things like marriage, people moving away, people having babies, and grad school to name a few. I miss friends who aren't bothered when I call after 9:00 (after all, don't you know our kids are SLEEPING!), and friends who, well, call me.
I think what happens is that people "adjust." They start hanging out with other people who live close to them, are married (or not married), and who are not in grad school. And quite frankly, those people fill their need for friends.
So, I am on a quest to find some additional friends. So far I have lived here for 4 years. So far I am still somewhat lonely.
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| There's something I'm finding out about being in a Ph.D. program at a Research University. Most of my classmates are not like me. When I graduated from good old Donegal High School, most people were like me. Most were white, most were middle class, about half had parents with a college degree. Let's compare.
Most folks in my Ph.D. program have parents who are 3rd or 4th generation professionals. My "best" PhD friends have parents who are doctors, lawyers, lobbyists, or working for world-wide companies. About half were born in another country. Family vacations each summer were to Aruba and various international locations. They grew up in houses that cost more money that I'll make in my lifetime.
This doesn't create a barrier, and it's certainly not true for all of the Ph.D. students. However, the thing that I have noticed is that they talk to their family and other friends about school. They have good friends who have been (or who are going) through the same experience. I find that I talk about school with school people.
There are certain things about college and the Ph.D. experience that you have to live to understand. It's hard to explain to someone what it means to buy a research handbook as one of your textbooks. No one in my family (thankfully) cares about my struggles to define my ontology, epistemology, and methods related to questions I'm asking.
So, I find myself only talking about school at school. Sometimes it feels lonely hanging out with people from church who I used to consider my best friends. It's like I live in a world that they don't understand and that I can't explain without making it seem more important or prestigious than it is. And, I have no life outside of school right now, so when we do hang out there is very little to talk about. Blah.
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| My brother is launching his photography business and you can visit his website at:
www.hofferphotography.com
Leslie
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| This may be close to the end of me writing on Xanga.
I mean, I have been posting blogs on our new website and I find facebook to me a much more fun and instant way to communicate with friends. I have a feeling I will be using xanga less and less. It's been a nice, long friendship...
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